


What do I mean to you?

by Suldreen



Category: Keeper of the Lost Cities Series - Shannon Messenger
Genre: F/M, Fluff, Kissing, One Shot, Some fighting, self indulgent, the title was the hardest part ngl
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-09
Updated: 2019-09-09
Packaged: 2020-10-12 23:50:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,447
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20572976
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Suldreen/pseuds/Suldreen
Summary: Sophie and Keefe are trying to figure out their feelings for each other. But, like with any relationship, they discover that there are many obstacles ahead of them.





	What do I mean to you?

Sophie looked around the bedroom, her eyes trying to take in all the details. It was a spacious room that had plenty of light streaming through the enormous windows facing the turquoise water. Several bookshelves lined the wall, a desk stacked with piles of paper sat in the corner, and there were knick-knacks covering all the free surfaces.

She actually enjoyed visiting the Shores of Solace, with its exotic-looking beautiful house, the sandy beach and the breathtaking ocean view. She was grateful that it had very little resemblance to Candleshade. That place always gave her the creeps, whenever she thought about its towering walls and cold interior.

The main reason she loved coming here, though, was the blond-haired boy sitting on his bed on the other side of the room, fidgeting with his rolled-up sleeves. Sophie stole a glance at him, before returning her gaze to her surroundings. It was furnished a little similarly to his room at Candleshade, but there were some obvious differences: the colors were lighter and friendlier, there was definitely more sunshine streaming in from the windows, and she hadn’t seen the many items that decorated the shelves and walls before.

Sophie’s eyes returned to one of the shelves, where a transparent container was filled with small spheres and colorful vials. Upon closer examination, she realized that they were beads and bottles of paint. _This must be where all those painted beads came from_, she concluded. Her mind flashed to the necklace that Keefe had gifted her several months back, when they were on the top of Mount Everest. She remembered the butterflies she felt in her stomach as he handed her the little, silk pouch…

“I sense a mood shift there, Foster,” Keefe announced with a smirk, snapping her out of her trance. He was playing with the buttons on his jerkin, but his eyes were fixed on her.

Sophie blushed and looked away. Her eyes wandered toward one of the enormous windows that overlooked the ocean, gazing out on the turquoise water. The scene was beautiful and serene, with a flock of birds gliding across the sky. She could have stared at the view for hours, but she was very aware of Keefe’s eyes still on her.

“Well, as much as I enjoy staring at stuff in silence, I’d prefer to do something fun,” Keefe said, getting up from the bed and crossing the room to stand next to her. “What do you wanna do?”

She tried to think of something useful but she was all out of ideas. She started to open her mouth to suggest that he think of something instead, when she caught sight of a silver notebook lying on Keefe’s desk. It was decorated with swirls and patterns that were so intricate that they could have been machine print—but she recognized the familiar style.

Curiosity got the best of her, and she made her way over to the desk to get a better look at it. She picked up the notebook and glanced at Keefe behind her. He was blushing, she noticed, but didn’t stop her when she opened it and flipped to the first page.

The first picture was an absolutely stunning drawing of a bird, flying among the clouds with wings spread wide. The next page showed Calla’s Panakes tree, branches swaying lightly in the wind. The whole notebook was page after page of beautiful art, with extreme attention to the smallest details. Sophie was aware with Keefe’s incredible talent but she marveled at the fact that somehow he had still managed to get even better since the last time she saw his art.

“I think I’ve gotten better, but there is still room for improvement,” Keefe murmured behind her, like he could guess exactly what she was thinking.

Sophie swerved around. “Are you kidding me right now?” she asked, completely baffled. “These are… I don’t even have the proper words for it, Keefe. Your art is simply divine.”

He shrugged. “I just do it to pass time.”

Sophie shook her head, finding that hard to believe. She wished she could convince him otherwise but she knew that Keefe didn’t take compliments easily. It was surprising in itself that he hadn’t turned it into a joke.

Another stretch of silence followed that interaction. It was weird, almost. She always used to feel at ease with Keefe, but ever since a recent afternoon at Havenfield, there was a new kind of tension that hung in the air whenever they were alone together, just the two of them. She thought back to that day at her house.

***

“It’s weird not having anything going on, isn’t it?” Sophie asked, leaning against the enclosure’s fence that had animals grazing inside peacefully. She liked watching them for hours on end—sometimes attempting to read their minds—and enjoying the peaceful way of life that they had. No drama, no danger, just the same routine each and every day. She often envied that, however boring it might have been in the long run.

She was standing outside in the pastures with Keefe, the sun shining bright in the sky and a nice breeze sweeping through the fields. Grady and Edaline had left them alone to tend to the animals, saying they had some business to take care of. They hadn’t specified where they were going but Sophie trusted them enough to know they were safe.

Keefe was reaching through the bars, trying to reach and pet a small, bright-colored dinosaur grazing close to them. “I dunno... I think it’s a refreshing change from almost getting killed every so often.”

She had to give him that. Just the thought of having to encounter the Neverseen again gave her chills. Warily, she glanced behind her, checking the horizon, expecting black-cloaked figures to appear any second and attack them. She got paranoid so easily, but she couldn’t help it.

“Hey, I’m right there with you!” Keefe announced, fanning the air between them. “But try to relax, okay? Do you want me to teach you how to breathe again?” he added with a smirk, and Sophie realized she had been holding her breath.

She sighed. “I just wish I could deal with them and end this once and for all. And to know that everyone I care about is safe. No,” she shook her head,” not just people I care about, actually. Anyone who could be harmed by… them.” She could never seem to be able to say their name out loud recently.

Keefe turned toward her and slowly took both her gloved hands in his. “Listen, you really need to give yourself a break. You’ve done more than anyone else I know, and there’s nothing more left to do for the moment.”

Sophie considered that. Still, the uneasiness in her stomach was far from gone. “What if we’re not prepared for whatever’s coming?” She didn’t even dare think of anything that could happen the next time they had to stand their ground against the enemy. The possibility of losing even more than they already had was more unbearable than she wanted to admit.

Keefe stayed silent for a few seconds, deep in thought. “I’m not saying it’s not going to be hard,” he admitted finally. “But remember: we have always managed ourselves before, one way or the other. Also, are you forgetting that we are the amazing Team Foster-Keefe? Nothing can stop us if we put our minds to it.”

She nodded slowly, not being able to smile yet. But Keefe’s words had started easing some of her anxiety.

“Besides,” he continued after a few seconds,” I’m just really glad you’re safe and not running off to face who knows what dangerous threat right now.”

He paused for a moment, like he was pondering whether or not he should continue with whatever thought he had in his head. He was looking down at their intertwined fingers, and his thumbs started caressing the top of her hand. “I couldn’t bear it if anything were to happen to you” he whispered eventually, and there was a softness to his voice that made Sophie’s stomach flip.

She felt her face become very warm all of a sudden. The implication in that sentence was too obvious to ignore. And there was a fire in his eyes that she couldn’t seem to look away from.

Her mind jumped to all the times she and Keefe were standing hand in hand, or close to each other, or interacting in a way that was different from the usual. What had those moments meant to him?

And more importantly, what had they meant to _her_?

Her mind was trying to wrap itself around the thought, but the warmth inside her chest told her that she already had the answer to that question. If she wanted to be completely honest with herself, she always did, but chose to ignore or suppress it… For what reason? It all seemed so silly and insignificant at that moment. Because, in reality…

She couldn’t finish the thought, but Keefe must have sensed her feelings change because he moved closer, tightening his hold on her hands. She had to look away, trying to calm her thoughts and work through all those intense emotions, but when her eyes slowly trailed back up to his face she realized that he was staring at her, his cheeks a light red color. _But why?_ she wondered. This was Keefe, after all. The boy who took any chance to tease her, the boy who never seemed to take anything seriously…

When their eyes locked, however, she knew that something had changed, and the intensity of his gaze made her heart switch to a much, much faster rhythm.

Keefe took another step toward her, and they were now standing so close to each other that she could feel his breath on her face and smell the sweet scent of a fragrance she had never noticed on him before.

Right then, when she thought that she couldn’t feel more flustered, Keefe let go of one of her hands and reached up to caress her cheek. It felt like tiny sparks against her skin, wherever Keefe’s fingers touched her face. She leaned into his hand, her whole body feeling like it was melting.

Time seemed to stop, the world freezing in motion. Then, slowly, he moved his face closer to hers, maintaining eye contact, the tips of their noses touching. When she didn’t move away, he finally closed the distance and touched his lips against hers.

Sophie’s breath caught for a moment, but then she closed her eyes and kissed Keefe back. It wasn’t like anything she had ever felt before, but it felt right. His lips were very soft, and the gentle way he was cupping her face still made her super dizzy. She had no idea how long it lasted. It could have been a few seconds. Or maybe minutes. But she never wanted that moment to end.

When Keefe pulled away, her head was spinning, and her insides felt warm and fuzzy. They were both slightly out of breath, but his eyes had an incredible light in them, and a sheepish smile slowly spread on his face. He slowly let his hand drop from her face but took her free hand back in his. “That was… nice,” he said eventually.

Sophie had to fight back a giggle. The whole situation suddenly felt so awkward, but also sweet at the same time. Not quite sure what to say, she just leaned into Keefe, who wrapped his arms around her. She rested her head against his chest, listening to his heartbeat, which was definitely quicker than normal. It was very relaxing, and she closed her eyes, focusing only on the boy holding her. A gentle breeze was blowing, bringing a scent of all sorts of different flowers that mixed with Keefe’s subtle fragrance.

At that moment, for the first time in a long while, she felt peaceful.

***

“Earth to Foster!” Keefe’s voice snapped her out of the memory. She blinked a couple times, trying to make sense of the present. She was in his room at the Shores of Solace again, and he was smirking at her with an amused light in his eyes. “You with me?”

She nodded, trying to figure out how much of the emotional rollercoaster he had experienced with her due to the memory. It must have been an interesting ride because he raised an eyebrow questioningly toward her. She faced away from him, not wanting to give him the details.

They fell back into the almost uncomfortable silence that had hung between them earlier, and she had no idea what to do or how to behave around him anymore. She was scrambling to say something, anything to get the usual feeling of comfort back between the two of them.

“So… where’s your dad, by the way?” she asked, in an attempt to make conversation, something she had never had to do before. As soon as the question left her mouth she knew it sounded awkward.

Keefe snorted. “He’s on some assignment from the council. Probably won’t be back until tomorrow, so lucky me has the house all to themselves. Of course, Ro insists on babysitting but I convinced her to patrol the premises for the time being.” He moved in front of Sophie and waited until she met his eyes. “Now that I’ve assured you of the whereabouts of everyone who lives here, why don’t you tell me what the real problem is?”

“It’s… nothing,” she averted her eyes, trying to come up with something for a topic change but not succeeding.

“Come on, Foster! You know you can’t lie to an Empath,” Keefe said with another one of his famous smirks. “So, what is it? Are my dazzling good looks distracting you? Or maybe my awesome personality is too much to take in?” He gestured toward himself.

Sophie knew he was just trying to ease the tension, but something about his attitude at that moment started to annoy her. She couldn’t put a finger on what it was, though, so she decided to ignore it.

“You’re pretty egotistical aren’t you?” She tried to make it a joke but there was a slight edge to her voice.

If Keefe noticed, he wasn’t fazed by it. “Nah, I just know how you feel. I’m irresistible, after all.”

This time she clearly felt the anger boiling inside her. It was almost like he wasn’t even trying to take the conversation seriously.

Keefe whistled, fanning the air between them. “Yikes, Foster! Why so mad all of a sudden?”

That was it. She felt something snap inside. “Well, for starters, it’s that, right there! Why do you still keep calling me ‘Foster’? I thought we were past that!” she blurted out, trying to keep a normal tone, but the words still came out loud enough to feel like she was yelling.

He looked taken aback, his face full of surprise and a hint of pain. “I thought…”

“You thought what?” she cut him off, not really understanding why she was letting herself get so worked up about something so relatively insignificant. There was more to it, though, she could feel it deep inside. “You think you know how I feel? Then tell me, why do you think I’m so angry? Or do your famous Empath skills not give you the reason behind the emotions you can read?” She felt bad as soon as those words left her mouth, knowing she probably went too far that time. She was thinking of taking it back and apologizing but couldn’t bring herself to do it yet.

Keefe was standing there looking like he had been struck by lightning. Slowly, cautiously, he stepped toward her. “So tell me, Fost— Sophie! I’m not a Telepath, right? I can’t read your mind, but I still want to understand.”

She drew in a sharp breath, trying to clear her head, but she could still feel the anger inside her. She _knew_ he was right, but she also felt like she couldn’t have properly convey to him what she was feeling that made her so insecure. How much she wanted to feel like he took her seriously. Like he wasn’t just messing around.

“Okay, now I feel doubt… What do you have doubts about, exactly?” Keefe pleaded. “I want to figure this out, okay? Please let me!”

Sophie just shook her head. She could feel tears welling in her eyes, and she couldn’t bear to have him see her cry right then. She ran to the door and made her way down the hall, following the light coming from the end of the hallway. Keefe did not follow her, and deep down she was grateful for that.

She stumbled through the double-winged door, sucking in the fresh air that smelled a lot like the ocean, trying to fight back her tears. Some still slipped out and ran down her face. She let tiny sobs escape from her throat, as she sank into one of the swings, pulling her legs up against her chest. She hated the way she had spoken to him, but she also couldn’t handle the tiny voice in the back of her head telling her that this whole thing with Keefe wasn’t real. That he wasn’t actually serious about any of this and that she wasn’t really worth it.

The ocean was incredibly peaceful, the waves licking the shore with a gentle rhythm and a calming sound, so she tried focusing on that to steady her emotions.

An hour might have passed even by the time she felt entirely calm again, because the sun was slowly sinking toward the horizon, painting the clouds an amazing variety of pinks, reds, oranges and purples. It complimented the blue of the water so well, and she felt a sense of peace overcoming her.

Sophie heard the porch door open behind her, footsteps emerging from the house. She didn’t look away from the water as Keefe sat down next to her, making the swing sway back and forth gently. They sat there without speaking for a minute or so, before his calm voice broke the silence. “Do you think that I don’t take you seriously?”

Hearing it said out loud almost convinced Sophie of how ridiculous it sounded. He had always been there for her after all, through some pretty tough situations, so there was no doubt that he cared about her. And there were definitely times when he let his more serious side show, the side that made Sophie trust him so much.

“It’s not only that,” she finally replied, sensing Keefe’s anticipation for an answer. “I just don’t understand why you have to make everything into a joke.”

“I don’t make _everything_ into a joke…” Keefe said defensively.

“Okay, true but when you do, very often you pick the worst time to do it.”

He fell silent for a moment, considering that. “I’m sorry,” he replied eventually. “I know I can seem like I don’t care or don’t take things seriously… But I do! I _really_ do! Especially when it comes to you.” There was a slight catch in his voice that tugged at Sophie’s heartstrings.

“You make me want to be better,” he continued, “and I want to show you that I care. And I want you to be happy. So, if there is anything right now that is troubling you, I want you to tell me… Whatever it might be.” He added that last part so quietly, and became so fidgety, that Sophie started to wonder if he was afraid that she didn’t want to be with him. The thought was like a splash of ice-cold water.

His sincerity gave her the courage to speak her mind. She reached over and gently took his hand. “I just want to know that you’re serious about me, Keefe.”

He sounded almost shocked at that. “Of course, I am! I would never mess around with you.”

Sophie let out a relieved sigh. “I mean, this whole thing is so new to me, and… We never really talked about what _this_ is” she gestured between the two of them.

Keefe chuckled lightly at that and squeezed her hand for reassurance. “That’s fair. And we can talk about it. But how about I show you something first?”

The question aroused her curiosity and he must have felt it because he stood up, helping her up from the swing, and led her back toward his bedroom. He walked up to his desk and picked up the notebook she had been flipping through earlier.

“I’m surprised you didn’t find it when you were checking this out,” he told her quietly, handing her the notebook, which was now open somewhere toward the end.

Sophie stared at the paper in front of her with wide eyes, although slightly confused. She was about to ask if that was all he had wanted to show her, when Keefe reached over and turned to the next page. She could feel her cheeks start to warm, but she still flipped to another page. And then another. And she couldn’t decide whether to blush all the way to her toes or start crying, because…

It was _her_. On every page. In different places and situations. Keefe had captured her perfectly in all of them. The details were absolutely amazing, all the way down to the strands of blond her falling around her face as she was sitting at—what she assumed was—her desk in study hall. Or the way her flowing cape framed her figure when she was walking down the hall at Firefox. Or the fantastic smile that had spread over her face after receiving the portraits Keefe had painted for her as a present.

These were Keefe’s memories of her. And he had poured so much energy and care into all of them. But the one that made touched her the most—and seemed to have been made with the most care and attention—was the last picture, which made her heart start pounding in her chest.

A portrait of her and Keefe. A life-like picture of them standing close to each other with Keefe’s arm around her, his cheek resting on the top of her head. Her half-smile was spot-on, which she always pulled when she felt slightly awkward. He, on the other hand, had an adorably warm smile spread across his face that lit up his beautiful, ice-blue eyes. Eyes that had the same smoldering, passionate intensity in the picture as in real life, anytime he looked at her.

She knew it wasn’t an actual memory but it was so beautiful, and she wanted it to be reality so bad, that her heart started aching a little. She didn’t realize that she had started crying until she felt Keefe’s fingers brush her cheek under her eyes, catching some of the traitorous tears. She looked at him, overcome with emotions. Their eyes met, and she could see a reflection of those same emotions in his eyes too.

“Now you know,” he whispered. “And you can see that I’ve been feeling like this for a very long time.”

Sophie suddenly understood why she saw him blushing earlier, when she was going through the notebook. She set it back down on the table and got closer to Keefe. She slid her arms around him, and buried her face in his chest. She could feel Keefe’s arms wrap around her, and he rested his head on top of hers.

“Thank you, Keefe,” Sophie murmured, tightening her hold on him even more.

“Anytime,” he replied, his voice incredibly warm. The scene felt nostalgic but a little different at the same time, and it created a fluttery feeling in her stomach. She loved how his arms where keeping her so close and how warm he felt. This time she felt his sweet fragrance even stronger, and she inhaled it deeply.

She felt Keefe pull back and she looked up at him. His eyes held hers and Sophie could see a sense of determination in them. She was sure that her face was bright red, her heart ready to leap out of her chest. There was a faint smile in the corner of his mouth as he leaned down toward her and brought their mouths together.

The second time was somehow even better than the first. He lifted a gentle hand to her face, placing his free arm around her and pulling her against his chest. Sophie melted against him. She reached up, and cupped his face with her hands, pulling him closer.

Their lips moved together in a soft way, Sophie’s fingers caressing Keefe’s cheeks, moving toward his neck, over his ears and lacing themselves into his hair. He let out a small sigh, and dropped his hand from her face, wrapping his arms around her, brushing a hand down her back. She felt a small shiver travel down her spine and knew that Keefe must have sensed it when he grinned against her lips.

They finally broke apart, breathing heavily, with a small, shy smile on both their faces. Keefe’s eyes didn’t let go of hers just yet. There were so many things behind those ice-blue eyes, so many emotions swirling there. But none of them could have prepared her for the words that followed.

“I love you, Sophie!”

Her eyes widened, as those strange, incredible words echoed in her head. Electricity coursed through her veins, reaching every single cell in her body. Breathing felt like an impossible feat for what seemed like minutes, and when she finally found a way to get air into her lungs again, a shaky sigh escaped her mouth. A happy sigh.

She rested her forehead against Keefe’s and closed her eyes, trying to soak up as much of that perfect moment as she could. When she felt like she was about to explode from all the emotions, she worked up the courage to say what she had felt subconsciously for a long time.

“I love you too, Keefe!” she whispered, almost too quiet to hear. But she was sure he did. She didn’t have to open her eyes to feel the enormous smile spreading across Keefe’s face. She didn’t have to be an Empath to feel his radiating happiness through the air, the same happiness she felt bubbling in her chest.

And together they stayed like that, for what could have been hours, but it was impossible to tell. Time had stopped altogether.

It finally felt like everything had worked out in the best way possible.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading!  
Please let me know how you all liked it! I love feedback so much!!
> 
> Special thanks to sophies_earbuds and silveny-dreams for the inspiration!
> 
> My tumblr has more fun KotLC-related stuff, come check it out @suldreen-saga


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